Smoked Up

May 9, 2005
New Orleans

I smoked a cigarette in my classroom today. Well, actually, my squeezable Heinz ketchup bottle did. The cotton balls inside were supposed to turn black + shrivel up but they didn't really. My kids with asthma were standing by the door, coughing. One student complained, "Mr. Choi, why you killin us?" It was great.

To end class + continue w/ the theme of "Hip-Hop Culture Against Drugs," we played an Outkast song feat. Goodie Mob - "Git up, Git out." When they heard the funky beat start up, they looked @ me kinda funny like the first time they'd ever seen belly button wax - like wha? Then they started to sing along haha - the chorus goes:

You need to get up, get out + get something
Don't let the days of your life pass by

You need to get up, get out + get something
Don't spend all your time tryin' to get high

You need to get up, get out + get something
How will you make it if you never even try?

You need to get up, get out + get something
Cuz you + I need to do for you + I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRQt2LvTyKk&feature=related

They have no idea how much expletive-filled gangsta rap I listened to back in my angsty teenage years =)

They have no idea how much joy + pride fills my heart when I see how far they've come, how well they work in cooperative groups, how polite they are to visitors - all this in spite the fact I still don't know what the heck I'm doing in that classroom =\

They have no idea how depressed I'll be on May 26 when they walk out of my life for the last time =..(

On a bright note, I saw Dwayne, one of my old students from last year, standing around @ a block party on Orleans next to the Iberville Projects. I remember he used to get beat up every day b/c he was short + smart + got A's on his report card. I yelled @ him + threw him a can of Tropicana Pink Lemonade that was rolling around the floor of my van. He yelled, "Hey Mr. Choi, I'm @ Gregory High School now!" Like making it to high school was a major accomplishment. I guess in this place, in his life, it is. Look Mr. Choi, I'm still alive @ age 16. In this city, in his hood, I guess that's an accomplishment too.

Dear God, you're the great Teacher. Help me to teach my kids what they need to know, to give them a bit of hope for their futures, to offer them an alternative to the negativity that surrounds their lives. To teach them somehow that there's more to life than just getting by + getting high.